Please check your ego at the door

I've often thought I was bigger, better and more exciting than I am in real life, or at least that's how I wish it would play out. Truth be told, I am not all that confidentand sometimes those little doubts get in the way.

I'm also pretty realistic-- perhaps to a fault. When it comes to submitting bs for different publications, I can't help but analyze the competition. Sandy Sue is so funny and Billy Bob is so deep-- damn I can't compete against them.

I'm just not polished enough. Oh the pressure! Deep down I do know some of the BS I write is comparable in tackiness-- almost so much that I think many a tacky publication would love to get their hands on it (that's fantasyland talking because there is no way I'd ever submit and no, I am not fishing for compliments. I'm a terrible fisherman. Fishing makes me sick, especially when I manage to catch a slippery little scalemonger).

Anway, recently a fellow townsperson tried to stroke my ego when parts for the local melodram were handed out. You see, fellow readers I didn't have the honor of being cast as Townswoman #8. I know. I know. It is tragic-- such an injustice. No, I was cast as Townswoman #3-- what were they thinking?

So fellow thespian comes up to me at rehearsal and says, "YOU got Townswoman #3," he said. "Why? You were good. It's a town production. People know who you are."

"Yes, but my audition wasn't that great and I'm going to have to miss an entire week of rehearsal," I said. "I'm surprised I was cast at all. I'm glad I'm Townswoman #3. I'm really too busy to do this right now. I really don't know what I was thinking when I auditioned."

"Well, the play isn't finished, so maybe you'll get a bigger part at the end," he said.

"Maybe," I said.

In truth, the director did say I might have more to do at the end-- if not, no biggie. It's just nice to be included.

Right now I am blessed with one glorious line at the beginning of scene 4, but I really don't care-- so why are other people so concerned? I just don't get it. My ego is in no need of stroking. I understand how the theater works. You actually have to be able to attend rehearsals to be cast. Plus, you have to pay your dues, and I think my dues are so far behind that I am on the naughty list (heehehehe-- whic leads me to another question. Why do we say hehehe when we laugh-- are we somehow making fun of men by doing that-- just want to know).