Bits and Pieces
Lately my life has been this gigantic puzzle with its little pieces scattered in rooms throughout the house. I can't seem to get it together, and my kids can't seem to connect the dots. It's like half my forehead is connected to my right toe or my eyes are on my belly button.
But I can't escape. Because Abby wants my eyes to watch her play baseball in the backyard, Nikki wants my arms to rock her so she can go night-night and Maggie wants my ears to listen to her story about the mouse in the woods. The phone is ringing. It's my husband. I'm sure. His ears probably want my voice to speak to him and for my brain to think of something witty to say. The plants want my legs to take the hose to them so they can have a drink.
Drink? My mouth wants a drink. My stomach wants a snack. My eyes want to stop feeling like gigantic dried out cotton balls.
And so sense I only have pieces to offer, here are some tidbits of news:
* GA, the guy who hands out my number to people he doesn't want to talk to, is apparently being sued by someone. A lawyer called my house the other day. I shouldn't smile. I really shouldn't. It's not polite, but I've gotten four calls for him in the last two hours.
* As many of you know, I am taking Spanish so I can get earn my Master's degree in English. I have to learn Spanish so I can learn English (go figure). Well, my professor, who incidently owns the only Spanish newspaper Butte county, asked me to be a columnist. This is great. What a compliment, right? There is only one problem. I don't really know Spanish. I've had two semesters of Spanish-- that's it. Once I can figure out how to do the correct punctuation on my computer, I'll post my first column so all you Spanish speakers can read it and laugh at my grammar and word usage.
* The other day, I bought the girls a coloring book filled with these circular stickers that say "Way to Go!" "Bravo" and such. Well, Abby decided to get naked in my living room, and with this oppressive heat, I couldn't exactly blame her. And then-- I turned around. There she was with her little round naked toddler body and two stickers stuck to her chest. And she said "I'm booby trapped."
Well I'm going to look for a few pieces of me, so I can drive to the pool and cool off with the kids.
posted by Bonnie B | 1:08 PM
21 Comments:
You either need 8 more arms or 3 clones of yourself. Some days there isn't enough to go around.
I raise my glass of wine to you.
onetallmomma-- and I to you.
Booby trapped. hahahahha.
And you are the woman! I still cannot believe you took them camping ALONE. you are AWESOME!!!! Awesome I tell you.
Jodi-- hey when do I get to learn about what you want to do before you die? You are "it"-- all that and a box of chocolates.
Sometimes i feel booby trapped too. That's my Abby. She keeps me laughing
DR. FLOR'S Rx: TAKE 1 VACATION FOR A WEEK. BY YOURSELF. QUICK!
Note: May cause marked drowsiness, and/or impair ability to operate heavy machinery such as washing machine, dishwasher and lawnmower.
Please also use caution when operating a vehicle as driver may space out at stoplights and crucial drawbridge crossings.
Take with liquid of your choice; chilled is best.
(repeat as needed)
Have each kid go off to a friend for a few days..then take your phone off the hook, draw a nice hot bubble bath. Soak for an hour, drain the bathtub and your stress down the proverbial drain, fix yourself a nice cuppa, paint your toenails, head to bed for a leisurely nap as long as you'd like.
Lay awake in the odd silence of a house devoid of slapping bare feet and childrens' sounds..but only for a moment..for you'll be drifting off in no time..mmm..
Swear off laundry, dishes and miscellaneous domestic household chores for a few days.
or get away to a small spa/hotel somewhere exceedingly quiet..you totally owe it to yourself..really!
ps- heck, i'll even babsit the bunch if you'll take one..please???
Flor-- I'm taking one as soon as I can find someone to watch the kiddies. Who knows when my husband will be home? Last time i talked to him, I said, "You get me for a day or two and then I'm going away all by myself for one complete day."
He's never had all three kids to himself before.
Though i am thinking of taking the kids to a resort for a week-- that way I have planned activities, prepared food and a maid! Some even provide a babysitter--- but those kids will keep me from Jose the cabana boy and his sexy accent (my conscience will too, but it is sort of nice to fantasize about a torrid affair in Mexico) I'd never do it though. How could I? My husband picks me flowers off the side of the road.
Ask me this question in October (duck season) or May (cinco de mayo and the annual all men fishing trip) and I'll say "Hola Jose, Quiero que bese a mis pies."( I want you to kiss my toes)I'm kidding of course, but don't ask me in October or May
what a novel way of viewing yourself...as a collection of pieces strung together..but you're right..it sometimes feels that way..
Jodi-- thanks! But I have to say you get top honors for puzzle management. With all the stress in your life, I don't know how you do it.
Nicole-- That is a very good question-- when you find the answer, let me know
david on the lake-- it sure does feel that way sometimes-- fortunately, it only feel like that sometimes and usually it's because we have too many eggs in our basket
Love the puzzle analogy I feel like that all the time. Yay for the guy being sued. I never told you I took 3 yrs of spanish and forgot most of it. We can practice together. Bonnie you are so wise, just by reading your posts and talking to you it is evident:).
You don't know it now, but feeling like different pieces of a puzzle that don't quite fit and all the frustrations that go along with that is helping you, in the long run, to find it all that much sweeter when the pieces do come together. And they will. And you will find satisfaction when they do.
hi bonnie
I had good laugh
loved the 'booby trapped'!
SWFM-- I need all the practice I can get-- especially with this new column-- Thanks and Yay about the guy! It is true if you do bad things then bad things will happen to you. I hope GA gets his life straightened out and learns his lesson.
babaloo-- I know they'll come together. I'm working on making it all fit and if it works I'll post about my adventure. If it doesn't, I'll post about it with even more gusto-- and no, I'm not going in for liposuction so my thigh pieces will fit on my leg pieces. Besides I couldn't. Me legs are in the living room and my thighs (I lost them seven years ago when I had my first child)
only way I know how-- booby trapped-- It makes me laugh too. She is a character.
p.s.
get jose to kiss your toes!
you won't need a vacation after that!
Good luck solving your puzzle! :-)
The Only Way I know how-- stop it, you're tickling me. I can't stop laughing -- no it's not Jose, it's my 4-year-old with a feather boa (that sounds kind of creepy)
I should find Jose
I loved this post...so creative! And I can totally relate to not being able to give enough. I see myself as the bottomless pot of coffee at Perkins -- and my kids just keep on drinking me. As for taking a vacation on our own,we've tried, but nobody wants to take 'em (ha!).
Sandy-- I hear ya! Nobody wants to take my kids either. Loved the bottomless pot of coffee--- the more they drink, the crazier they get It never ends!
Waya-- Your p;ace or mine? No, I think we should go to Mexico on our husbnad's overtime checks and harrass Jose the cabana boy. We could make him fetch our drinks and we could kick back in the sun and fo nothing.
Lakewood venter-- It's so complicated it may never be solved. I guess I will have to adapt
Nice to see you again Bonnie- sounds like you've had your hands full- what a nice opportunity to write a column for a paper- I hope that works out well for you. Maybe you'll be the next Dave Barry!
Amishav-- It is so nice to have you back. What a suprise to find you here at Of Socks and Men!
Anyway, it has been a busy summer.
I've been writing a column for a local paper for seven years-- I haven't heard the Miami Herald calling yet, but I've had lots of fun.
I took on the job for the Spanish paper so I could practice my Spanish-- and because the teacher announced to the class that I had agreed to do it.
It's been fun.
Oh gosh I hope you get some sleep! And your daughter is adorable!
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