I'm out of the corner
I thought I'd update you all on my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day." Well, it turned out the conference wasn't too bad. This doesn't mean I am entirely pleased, but I can understand a few things from the teacher's standpoint.
The fact is my daughter is a day dreamer. I will agree with that. She also misinterprets "finish your work" to mean "hurry up and get it done." I see that in her for sure.
And what I decide to do with the school remains to be seen. We discussed ways of handling the situation, and if things get better, Maggie will stay. If not, I will home school-- which could be a disaster in itself because she definitely doesn't want to listen to me.
I am still angry about the hair, but it was me that had it cut-- not the teacher-- so I have to take responsibility for that decision. All the teacher did was make me feel nuts. Plus, I need to find some way to help Maggie handle her dad's long absences from home because that is definitely an area where her teacher doesn't "get it."
Well, that is enough for now. I was a little upset this morning. I feel better now, but I still have my eyes on her teacher. For most students she is probably a great teacher. Other parents love her, but I'm not her biggest fan. Oh well, I'm trying to be positive and teach my daughter to learn from this situation-- and to see where she can improve (because there is definitely room for that).
posted by Bonnie B | 2:36 PM
14 Comments:
I'm glad the conference wasn't as bad as you thought it'd be. Bummer bout Maggie's hair - but hey, hair can grow right. Don't beat yourself up about it - you were just being a mum, trying to make things eaiser for your daughter. I hope things improve with this teacher - it annoyed me to read that she didn't listen to you and then came to the same conclusion. GGRRRRRR! Stupid woman! All the best to you and Maggie :)
re: her handling dad's absences:
i don't know how busy he is, but could they write [the old-fashioned way] to each other? There's something about getting a letter addressed to you, complete with stamp and envelope..a solid feeling, someone took the time to get the supplies together, think, sit down and write, fold letter, lick, address, stamp the envelope and walk to the mailbox to deposit it. Something an email just doesn't convey.
Is she 'artsy'? (seems like it, as a lot of math-haters are art-minded/creative types) Could she draw him pictures and mail them? They could be 'picture-pals' or s/t..not just regular pen pals.
Any special 'object' he's bought her that she can go and squeeze whenever she misses him? Some sort of connection in the physical sense more than a piece of paper with writing at least. (at 4 years old, i hated to go to day camp, so I remember my mom giving me a small square of fabric with a light dusting of her perfume on it..it was something physical to hold+had a familiar [i.e. comforting] scent..I had an easier time leaving her after that).
s'all i can think of at the moment..poor kid..no way that's easy..
Wow. Sorry about the hair. I feel similar about my daughter's hair, so last Spring when SHE cut a chunk off I was physically sick. Luckily it wasn't that noticeable so I left her hair long anyway.
I hope that you are able to find a good solution for your family. I couldn't begin to give you advice because if I did I'd be pulling it out of my (bleep!)
Sorry you're dealing with this!!
I have found myself feeling the same way about my son's current teacher. But he has Aspergers and will end up in a different school anyways so there is a positive side hopefully.
Sorry to hear she was abnoxious:(
Teachers can make you nuts sometimes and I hope you don't have to homeschool!
saffron-- Her hair is growing out. Unfortunately she loves her pixie hair and wants to keep it this way because there are no more tangles. She just looks too old. I don't know I might let her keep it for a while.
flor- those are great ideas. She loves to write and draw pictures. Maybe if she feels like she is communicating with him in some more personal way, she'll perk up. Thank you.
Flor-- oh there is one problem. My husband is a captain of a hand crew made up of inmates. I'd forgotten. I sent him a bunch of letters fromt he girls this summer and he had a fit-- because what if the inmates get ahold of one of the letters and finds out where he lives. However, I still think your ideas were great. I'll just ask him if there is post office nearby and we can send him stuff to a PO Box.
heather- it's just one of life's little annoying lessons. I was so negative yesterday. It was the dread and the fear so what my daughter's teacher would say. Things will get better and my daughter will excel. I might send her to a tutor for math.
c-- I'm sorry to hear you have similiar feelings. I'm trying to find the positive side and I'm trying to be a little more objective-- it's hard when it's your daughter. I'll see where this goes.
social worker-- nice to see you today-- and thanks.
kasamba-- I hope I don't have to either. I've been looking into it, but my daughter and I are like vinegar and oil when it comes to math. I don't think I'm good for her learning process if it has to do with numbers. To be, math (at her level) is so obvious so I tend to get frustrated when she doesn't "get it." If I decide to homeschool, I'll hire a math teacher.
Stinks about the hair-do, but I'd have done the same thing and it sounds like she loves it. You know by my whining that I can so feel your pain! It's SO frustrating not to be able to fix things for them.
Ooh, and I was thinking, maybe your hubs could tape some bedtime stories for her to listen to. I always wanted to do that for the kids for rides in the car or when Charlie's out of town...
Keep your chin up! Your doing a great thing by keeping that teacher accoutnable!
OKay, first of all, Maggie's teacher sounds like a IDIOT. And I am sorry you cut Ms Maggie's hair, but it WILL grow and it sounds like she likes her new 'do even if you don't, which is probably why she DOES like it. :) Kids are funny that way.
Also, there are LOTS of good schools on the Ridge. My boys go to a public (gasp) school and I feel they are getting a GREAT education. You should check some of them out before you make the big homeschool commitment. In my opinion. From what I know of Maggie she would not enjoy homeschool too much & I don't think you would either. :) But, that's my unsolicted opinion, for what's it worth. you should look in a math tutor or Sylvan learning center OR something.
Lastly, I totally understand what it's like to go into a parent teacher meeting and get bad news about your kids. It's heartbreaking. I had a simiiar experience with Trent's teacher. And it made my blood boil. However, after I thought about it I realized that his teacher was making valid points and if we could figure out how to fix his problems it really will benefit him in the long run. He IS going to have to learn how to deal with these difficultes and it's not going to get any easier, I know that.
That being said however, I do TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. I can hear your frustration too about not the teacher not listening to you or realizing what you are trying to say. I don't think Trent's teacher "gets it" either. I really don't think she realizes how much he struggles to keep it together as much as he does in the day. OY.
Anyway, I hope it all works out! please call or email me if you want to vent. :) :) I REALLY do get it, honest.
Not knowing what type of school your daughter goes to or where exactly you are living - but sometimes can you go above her head? - will the principal be understanding?
And I know how the whole missing daddy thing goes. My son deals with it internally. You can never tell how sad he is when his dad has been gone for a week. But my daughter becomes whiny and sad - obstinate at preschool (the teacher told me she can tell when daddy has been on a trip).
Maggie's teacher needs to be told AGAIN about daddy being gone a lot - and MADE to understand the situation. Maybe the teacher needs to learn tolerance.
ahh the travails of parenthood..
How old is she?
I'm glad to hear that it wasn't a total disaster of a conference. If it helps, I always remind myself that I am the best advocate for my child. If I don't stand up for them, no one else will!
Good for you.
Post a Comment
<< Home