100th post Yippee Skippee!

It's my 100th post and if anyone is still out there, I'm happy to share it with you.

I'm also happy to report I feel much better than I did yesterday. Damn I was pretty nuts. What can I say? People get depressed over stupid things.

Anyway, I took my neighbor a huge bright red geranium in a pot. I have always wanted one for my front porch, but min eis too shady for a geranium. We talked. She told me my garden would always be the prettiest on the street. I told her I'd be happy to help her and that I felt like an evil heel for being childishly petty.

It sucks when you are caught acting like a moron and you actually know it, but you can't help but be a moron. It's just who I am- - a controlling crazy lady who wants everything in her universe to be unique and different. Whatever happened to "share the love?" Well, apparently that gene was left out of my makeup. I'm working on it though by realizing that friendship and tolerance go a lot further to making me happy that obesessing over things beyond my control.

It's going to be fun in my house when my girlies are teenagers.

And now a short reveiw of the last year. This year, I applied for grad school, got accepted and dropped out when my kids went nuts. I will try again at a later date because unfortunately I DO need to be a mother first (very hard lesson).

I learned to accept my husband for who he is-- a firefighter who is never home and who likes to duck hunt and drink beer and whiskey. I abhore alcohol for the most part-- but you know you can't control the world, right?

I discovered that I love blogging, but that my little hobby tears my family apart-- why? Hmm? I just don't get this maybe THEY need to learn that they too cannot control the universe. This is a tough one. And so I've tried different things to make everyone happy. I tried having "office hours," but this didn't work because what I learned is that if I'm not on top of my kids, they will not get ready for school. I tried taking mini breaks, but every time I sat down to write my husband would stare through the window, get caught and then dramatically retreat as though he was caught spying on a terrible experiment.

What does the future hold for this blog?

I don't know. Honestly, with all my heart I want to continue it. I love to write. I love my family and I hope one day they learn that writing is a bridge to sanity for me-- without it I obsess over my neighbor's yard (how crazy is that!) I need something to keep my mind and fingers busy. I'm not ashamed to say this-- I'm an absolute fruitcake if I haven't been writing.

So hopefully, I will find a way to still be around for SOMEONE or NO ONE to read next year. It really doesn't matter. I just want to write.