Just a simple thank you
Sometimes life's great mysteries uncover immeasurable bounties.
I started this blog about a month ago-- on a whim. A friend of mine had a blog, so I read it and thought why not? I write for a living. This should be a piece of cake. I'll have like what 10,000 readers by week's end.
Yes, the ego of a small town columnist can be overbearing, but put her in the blog world and little miss ego is checked repeatedly and eventually (I hope) she (the ego) disappears all together.
She serves no real purpose other than to stifle my voice and to make me mistakenly think I know all the answers.
I know nothing. I'm a voice in a chorus of millions.
A lone voice screaming too loudly will soon develop a horrendous case of writer's laryngitis. And so, I couldn't write my deepest desires. I couldn't laugh at life's insidious misadventures because I was searching for something much more than a writing outlet.
I was searching for a community, and being of a shy nature I wrote with timid fingers.
Now, most people find their community through their church or synagogue, but I was utterly alone and didn't even know it until one day I was a woman on the verge of a very terrible scream. I poured my heart onto the page, and the next day I clicked on fellow blogger's blog and read.
The message was simple really-- don't make the same mistakes twice-- but it broke through me.
Suddenly I realized I had the power to not be miserable.
I realized I was alone or so I thought, and I didn't' want to be. I wanted that voice and a chorus of many more.
Now many voices do fill my world--actual voices, important physical voices.
Yes, I have my three adorable children-- my lifelines that keep me from falling into the stars. I have my husband-- my frustration, my love, the polar opposite of myself, my completion.
And yes I have God though I was too busy being miserable to listen to Him, but many of you have taught me to stop and listen.
And so, with one click the journey began.
I wanted so much to connect with people even virtual people, to learn how other people are making their lives whole, to laugh at misadventures in dating and parenting-- all of it.
And so, I wrote tidbits, shared a few ancedotes and did a lot of reading.
I learn more everyday. I'm starting to find my voice again. Though I must admit, I am having trouble writing this post, and so I will keep it short. Perhaps I will try it differently another day.
But I thank you for letting me into your community.
posted by Bonnie B | 4:23 PM
20 Comments:
What a sweet post! Love it. i feel the EXACT same way about blogging, sans the small town column writer ego thingy though. :) I'm nobody's writer. I am glad you are enjoying the blog and it's serving a useful purpose for you, despite what your Mama and hubby think. :)
Jodi-- you are my writer and many other people's as well. Your stories make me smile and laugh. Your friendship serves me well. My hubby is OK with my blog now that he has agreed to not read it. This is just a new chapter in my life, and he is adjusting to it. My mother means well as all mothers do. For them, blogging is my bothersome hobby. For me, it is much more. Our minds (my family and mine) will meet someday-- I hope.
Beautiful honest expression. I can see why it would be hard. Nice to know the background of how you started. You are very well accepted into the community. My blogging would be lacking if you weren't there for a friend and support.
I started my blog as an outlet too. I found myself with a lot of extra time on my hands at work and started reading blogs. Then, like you, thought "hey I can do this," Although, I must admit I freaked out a bit the first time I got a comment and realized someone was actually reading. Anyway, I LOVE reading your blog Bonnie, so, THANK YOU for sharing your writing with us.
Lovely, sweet post. It is funny to me how much we can find in common with the people we meet in the blogosphere. My boyfriend thought my blogging was a bothersome hobby, too, and one that he didn't quite adore. But now he, too, is fine with my blog now that he has decided not to read it. (and I must say this decision of his has been incredibly freeing on my part, too!) :-)
Bonnie, you can't imagine how much you've enriched my life through your writing.
I don't consider you a virtual friend, I consider you a true one.
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Kvetch- I am so happy to have you back. I have missed you. I used to really be bothered by the number's game-- who is reading whom, but you know it really doesn't matter. This has been the biggest lesson for me. I'd rather have ten people who read my blog and really care about what it says than 150 who skim it and couldn't care if i fly the coupe. I am so happy to have found your blog again. My link quit working for some reason and I couldn't find it. I was very sad. I thought you'd quit blogging or something.
Kasamba-- you are versy sweet and wise. I consider you a real friend too. I just wish we could meet for lunch-- that would be fun.
Having trouble writing this post??
This was one of the most honest heartfelt and touching posts I've ever read.
Youre not alone...and you have our rapt attention..
Now scream at the top of your lungs!
:-)
On Bonnie, that was wonderful! I started blogging as a way to help me gain some perceptive on the craziness of my everyday life. I also wanted to leave a history of their childrhood for them when I am long gone. What I found, without really seeking, was a wonderful, supportive community. A gift and a blessing. I, too, check you every day and am disappointed when you haven't written anything new.
social worker/ frustrated mom-- You enrich my life everyday with your posts, comments and emails-- thank you
babaloo-- I'm glad you come by. I love to read about your family. you have such a quick sense of humor and your quotable Fridays-- what a great idea!
Kigogal-- So nice to hear from you today. I always try to post comments on your blog, but it won't let me for some reason. I read it every day though. I hope my husband is following your boyfriend's example and is not reading my stuff. I guess I'll findout the first time I write something really hair-raising. I know he read my Naughty Thursday one and wasn't happy. i hope he has learned his lesson.
12:53 PM
David-- I am happy today. I can't think of a thing to scream about. Myabe I'll let out a shout of happiness-- that would be nice.
Thank you.
Ashley-- I will try to write more frequently then. I always feel like I'm saying "here is my portfolio, please read me." Or my life and times are so exciting and important that everyone should read them. I know this is not how people feel-- that reading my blog or anyone's blog for that matter is a burden. But this little voice whispers doubt. I think we are all just curious and most of us love to know what everyone else is doing-- the poetry, the events, the lessons of the day. I love them-- so why do I worry?
Thank you! That is so sweet. Your posts enrich me more. Lets fight over it:)
Bonnie, that would be great cuz I love lunch!
Kasamba-- now I just have to hop on a plane and fly for hours. I also need a passport. Oh and fly over the ocean--scary, but you are worth it.
Very nice. I liked it.
Aw, shucks!
love it bonnie - love it love it love it -
feel exactly the same!!!
seems i'm a bit late for the lunch-wagon, but i guess we're all in the 'right' community if we're airing one thought with many voices.
I used to thoroughly despise blogs; waste of time/who had time/patience/interest to read of a strangers mishaps 3/4 of the way around the globe??
Then i started mine almost satirically. wouldn't post more than 1.5 posts before I'd delete it in boredom. What was this hype about i wondered?
and I've found it.
heck, i think we all have, and it's filled our little gaps and niches in different ways.
but filling, always filling
at times lifting, sobering, even shocking.
much the same way technology has steadily marchedon connecting people through telegraph, then telephone, radio, television, web, email and finally blogging.
G-d knows where it'll go next, but for now I'm enjoying myself riiiight here..
thanks for making me laugh harder than i've laughed in ages and writing in a way that takes my breath away [if it helps i live in manhattan..and maybe i'm a jaded-rude-uniterested NY'er..]but your writing makes me wonder what new dimensions have yet to be explored by your nimble wit; or not even new, just sideways. thanks for sparking this wonderment at 'sideways' thinking when most other writers out there have only think medially; they're scared to go anywhere but up& down, your 'small-town'writing has done something nyc has failed to. and that's a HUGE thing!
(darn. sorry, that sounded like i'm flattering you to do just that-- flatter. i'm not. it was just the truth..but i've been accused of that when i wax poetic over something genuine i've found that excites me..so yes. all that is real:)
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