Sluty Socks Seek Respectable Mates

If I were a sock, I don't think I'd want to be the orange and white polka dot one or the one with the pink trim and Hello Kitty face because quite frankly being such a sock will leave you lonely and mate-less.
Better to be as plain as possible-- a boring white crew sock-- because that is where all the fun is

You see, in the world of socks, the world as we know it is turned upside down --unless you are perpetually dirty of course. Nobody, including other socks, wants to hang out with a dirty smelly sock.
Here is how it goes: Victoria Secret black fish net thigh highs might make for a saucy night for their owners, but, for the stockings, the life is either short lived when they are ripped off in a moment of unimaginable passion (sock translation: destined for the trash) or a rather dull monogamous life spent folded up with its mate and rarely if ever slipped on for action.

For the most part, sexy socks mate for life. Sure some may live as spinsters when their partner decides to crawl under the bed at the local hotel.
But the best mate-less thigh highs can hope their owner will see the benefit of a three some and buy a new more elasticized pair to help draw the lone thigh out of its depressive singular state.
If that doesn't happen, consider their "life" as a sock over-- into the recycle bin you go.

Of course, this spinster rule only applies to women who do not own multiple pairs of black fish net thigh high stockings. If the owner is a real slut, then the thigh highs can act in kind. The options are limitless-- hook up with another black fish net stocking every night of the week, roll around in the dainties drawer with a sachet and a hundred other thighs.

I guess I could be a naughty thigh high, but I'd have to find the right owner-- and quite frankly I don't think I'd want to be a stocking on such a thigh.
I don't want to be a novelty sock either.
Novelty socks get the same treatment as sexy lingerie only they usually must suffer the owes of living on children's feet.
But for the plain Jane white crew sock-- oh now there is the life.
When the going gets tough, the laundry room executive always buys more mates, newer improved models, whiter, nonslouchy and ribbed for your comfort (so they don't slide down into your shoe, you naughty folks).
White socks aren't particular. They're perpetual settlers, mating with good enough matches-- ones that are a little taller, a shade off white, have secret holy heels or toe port holes. They'll go with ones from different makers, different textures-- just as long as they are white and can be folded to an appropriate length.
Some are widows thrice over. All have been lost at some time in there lives whether it be in the couch, under the dryer or stuffed in a shoe headed to Goodwill. None are monogamous. It's forbidden. It's the sad casualty of the laundry room.
But the good news is there is a crew out there for everyone, and if you are really lucky, you might end up with a big old thick athletic tube sock-- whether he or she is a respectable mate, now that is another story.