Quick Update

For the moment I am still in Paradise-- though judging from all the smoke it feels like we're scratching at the armpit of hell (OK not such a pretty image, but this isn't pretty).

Smoke wakes me up at 5:30 a.m every morning. The air is brown and thick with ashes falling like rain. My youngest carries an umbrella whenever we go outside.


A fire is burning a couple miles from our house. We aren't in danger-- yet-- but if the fire makes a run tomorrow I'm out of here. My mother-in-law is afraid the fire will make a run toward her house and calls me with "fire updates" every couple of hours. I think she wants to just evacuate and get it over.

Today I considered granting her wish because I knew she was really worried and needed support. She kept asking if she should just pack everyone up and come to my house. I wish I'd been a better daughter-in-law and said come over, but the thought of five adults (my mother-in-law, he mother and her neighbor), three kids and some crazy number of pets just made me nervous. I thought maybe we could all go to Butte Meadows. My parents have a cabin in that small mountain community and to me it's "sanctuary." It's smoky there, but at least a fire isn't breathing down our necks-- or so I thought. No, I turned on the news and learned Cal-Fire had just evacuated Butte Meadows.

I wished I could call my husband, but all I get is the "Verizon" lady.

My husband is on the front lines in Fall River Mills-- though I suspect he's really in a town called Cassel and doesn't want to tell me. Cassel is located near Fall River Mills, but he knows it would break my heart if I knew the little town was on fire. He forgets I can learn all these nasty details on the news. I learned to fly fish on Hat Creek in Cassel. It's just a special place to me.

This series of fires worries me. My husband has only slept four hours since Friday because there aren't enough firefighters to fight these fires. I know that as other fires get under control, more help will come-- but it's just so dangerous. I don't understand how he can go on the way he does without any sleep. I guess it's just that special firefighter training.

More lightning is coming on Thursday. I just don't know what this state will do. We don't have the resources or manpower to fight this mess.
I know everything will work out in the end that's what my husband keeps saying in our short 15-second conversations -- those rare moments when he moves his crew to another location and can manage a short call.
It's just, "Hi, I'm alive. Just wanted to hear your voice. Love you, Bye."

"Love you."